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August 2, 2005 (Paramus, NJ) -- A pregnant teenaged girl is walking through a desolate neighborhood, unsure of where she'll go next. She left her aunt's house a month earlier, after a heated argument, and since then she's spent a few nights with various relatives and friends, moving from one couch to another. Without an education, job, and roof over her head, how will she ever care for the baby? Fast forward two-and-one-half years.
Two happy, friendly, and healthy toddlers pad around the Saddle Brook kitchen of Marian and Patrick Devaney, cheerfully playing games and running to hug their mother as she prepares snacks for them. The Devaneys, married five years, are foster parents in the Boarder Babies program, managed by Children's Aid and Family Services, Inc., in which children born to mothers unable to care for them live temporarily with a foster family. Joshua*, 2 years old, was placed with the Devaneys when he was 5 weeks old. A few months later, his mother gave birth to another child who was also placed with the Devaneys. Lashonda*, now 15 months old, joined the family eight months ago.
"Lashonda was considerably delayed when she arrived," says Marian. "At 10 months old, she couldn't turn over and had no upper body strength. She had physical therapy and saw a speech therapist because she couldn't control her tongue. Now she eats everything, loves to play, and does baby sign language, which is taught to children as a way to communicate before they speak. Both she and Joshua are growing beautifully."
The goal of the Boarder Babies program is family reunification, which happens 50 percent of the time, but in the case of Joshua and Lashonda, that outcome is becoming increasingly doubtful, and the Devaneys are hoping to adopt. "We became foster parents in the Boarder Babies program because we love infants, and really weren't interested in adopting," Marian says. "But two years later, I can't think of them leaving."
With a 14-year-old adopted son from a previous marriage and newly renovated home, the last thing Marian expected was high chairs in her state-of-the-art kitchen and two toddlers calling for "Mama" all day. In 2001, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and after undergoing grueling treatments, she was pronounced cancer free. She was grateful to her family and friends for their help and support, and decided she wanted to give something back. "I prayed and meditated over what I should do, and the answer came to me: become a foster parent," she says. "Literally five minutes later, I opened the newspaper and the first item I saw was a write up on Children's Aid and Family Services. I knew then I had the right answer."
Pat, a Journeyman Electrician with the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW) for the past 30 years, is a devoted father who changes diapers and invents fun games to play with the kids. "There's nothing he won't do to get them to laugh," says Marian. Moreover, he has a large family who has wholeheartedly welcomed the children and included them in all activities. Interestingly, IBEW and Children's Aid and Family Services have a broader relationship. In 2003, several union members generously donated their time and expertise by spending several days installing electrical fixtures and wiring at one of the agency's Pre-Adoptive Treatment Homes. They've also participated in the agency's holiday gift drive.
Before becoming foster parents, Marian and Pat had to go through the home study process to become licensed foster parents. Children's Aid and Family Services provided an initial eight-week training program prior to the placement, and Marian continues to attend monthly training sessions that feature topics including infant massage, health, recreation, and transracial adoptions. Moreover, she can call the agency anytime day or night with a question or if she needs help. "The agency has been very supportive toward us," says Marian. "They host foster mother's day luncheons and holiday parties, as well as the monthly meetings. It's wonderful, because I meet the other mothers and we compare notes and offer each other support, and my children play with the other kids."
Marian and Pat are also required to maintain a "Life Book" for both Joshua and Lashonda, which contains photos of almost everything the children do along with documentation. For instance, Joshua's first haircut, first sip of juice, and first ride on the merry go round have been captured for posterity, and it's important for him to have this history. "I've always loved being a full-time wife and mother," says Marian. "Joshua and Lashonda have so much potential, and all they needed was an opportunity to realize it."
Children's Aid and Family Services, Inc., is one of the largest regional, nonprofit human services organizations serving northern New Jersey. The agency is fully accredited and has more than 100 years of experience in building futures for children, families, and communities. Its mission is to help children, families, and communities to heal, to learn, and to grow. For more information, contact Shannon Prescott at 201-226-0300.
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